30 October 2010

Weekend Free-For-All: There Goes My Hero Edition

Stephen Fry!

Shit, man! I loved you! I named you as the one living person I'd like an interview with! You were awesome! You were an advocate for mental health awareness! You host QI, and are consistently awesome about it! I never thought you were perfect, but I respected you and was impressed with your shit.

And then you drag out this goddamned tired cliche? Fuck, man. That's low. That's crap. That's a) deliberately ignoring a slew of cultural factors, b) speaking with authority on something about which you have gathered only anecdotal evidence and data, c) propagating stereotypes (which, by the way, I thought you were generally against), d) going for a cheap laugh instead of trying to challenge prevailing cultural attitudes, and e) coming across like a shmucky douche.

Go sit in the corner and think about what you've done. You know I love you, but that doesn't mean you get to just be a dick. I expected better.

Fry says he was misquoted and misconstrued. He is not, however, apologizing in a particularly mature way. Maybe you and I just need some time apart to sort through our feelings, Stephen.

28 October 2010

Buck up, buttercup! On the need not to feel better.

N.B. I am extremely apprehensive about posting this, because several friends and co-bloggers have posted, written, or said loving, well-meaning things to me in the past week about how I can stop being depressed. I don't mean anything in the following post to be a brushback to those kind impulses. I am so grateful to know you all, and it warms my (tiny, shriveled, coal-black) heart to know you care for me. But...well, here we go.


Just for you, because God forbid we here at FnBs start advocating maturity as a general rule (although Fish's post made me realize that God, yes, I am a grown-up): a new toy!


Use it to create your own French romance novel. Everything but the syrupy writing.

And if you feel like playing with some of the characters it generates -- or any literary or historical figures from the Regency period in Europe --, check these out:


Disclaimer: We here at FnBs are not affiliated with any of the above websites or artists. As far as we know they're not associated with each other, either, although we have no evidence for or against that. We just think they're fun.

first you stop trick-or-treating, and then...

I had these great plans for Halloween this year. It essentially was: tag along with my friends and high-tail it down to Seattle to party. And by "it essentially was" I mean "that's what I was going to do."

Then some stuff happened. Stuff like getting sick and remaining slightly under the black raincloud of that illness for the past week. Not quite sick, I was constantly vaguely tired. Like having a nap was a permanent fixture on my "what to do right now" menu. This could also be related to my not getting 8 hours of sleep in one go at all this week. I made do with a few 6 hour stretches and a 4 hour "shoot me in the head" cat-nap before a 6:45am shift.

I have two things I need to get done for work (due last Saturday and this Tuesday), and I have a demanding shift on Monday night that will have me up and running around until 1am.

So, I did the "Grown up thing" - I decided to not go party and instead stay in town so I could sleep and get some shit done over the weekend. My boss approved of this plan - but then again she has a bias toward me being functional at work. My lover, who was one of the ones I was tagging along with, said it would be good to rest up.

And possibly the scariest? I approved of this plan.

I will miss the party. And I'm... ok with that? I am. A friend of mine recently posted a facebook status where she ended with the statement "I think being a grownup means not being scared that something amazing is going to happen without you if you go to bed early."

I would add that being a grownup is knowing that something awesome is going to happen and then realizing that some boring stuff is going to be a way better choice anyway.

No longer is getting woo-hoo drunk and staying up till who-the-hell-cares the end-all be-all. I mean, it's high up there on the list of important things, because I never really got to do that in university, so I'm making up for it now and that's important to me - but... SLEEP MAN! Holy shit, I need some sleep. And my body will just kill me if I get drunk. And the stress of going away for the weekend is SO not worth the stress of knowing how messy my apartment is and not knowing when it will get clean. And the stress of work and worrying about if I can function would dampen my buzz anyway.

It's weird to finally be on that adult side looking back and going "yeah, doing stupid stuff is actually just a bad idea" when my young ideals from the past still want it to be worth it. But it's not. It's just a bad idea.

I may still party on Halloween (or the Saturday of) but I will refrain from getting drunk and probably from alcohol altogether. I am not really looking forward to the holiday it self, but I am wickedly delighted that I don't have to set a wake-up alarm for two days in a row.

But I guess I shouldn't worry too much - it's 1:21am and I'm on the internet so I'm not a "real" adult yet.

25 October 2010

We all need to feel better!

So, apparently, I'm way into posting videos, but it seems to me a lot of us here on this blog could use some calming down, cheering up, and general feel-better-ness. (this completely includes myself)

So just remember, when everything feels HOLY-CRAP-OMG-THINGS-ARE-TERRIBLE-AND-I'M-GONNA-DIE!.....:

Things I Learned From the Movie Waitress

Certain things in my life are messy right now (seems problems of that sort hit many of the FnBs contributors simultaneously, which figures). Anyway, I'm not in much state to write a fresh perspective on something, so here's the next best thing: a list I wrote a few months ago after watching Waitress. Next week, look for a post about more current and more general media. Meantime, enjoy. -- Arcadian

Okay, yes, I watched Waitress. Any distress I feel is of course my own fault.  I caved! I wanted to see Nathan Fillion playing a straight romantic hero, instead of an anti-hero, or a tool-hero, or a goofy, womanizing hero. Surely it will be interesting to watch him play straight, I thought. It wasn’t like I paid any money for the privilege.

And, okay, I did not hate Waitress. I don’t think it was worth two hours of my life, but I didn’t hate it. I learned things from it! It was like going to school. You learn stuff, but not necessarily true stuff, or stuff you want to know, or stuff you’ll ever use again, and it takes much longer than it’s worth. Actually, the way I felt about this movie was more like a Bible-thumper going to an evolutionary biology class. Or an atheist going to a Bible study.

Okay, maybe I hated it a little.  But here are the things I learned. (Spoilers abound.)

1)    If thou art pregnant, thou shalt deliver. No matter how much you don’t want a baby, no matter what sort of environment you’re living in, no matter any other circumstances in your life, abortion is absolutely off the table. Having no money is no excuse to get rid of an unwanted baby. Being unable to make sense of your life is no excuse. Not feeling ready to take on the task of motherhood is no excuse. An abusive rapist of a husband is no excuse. Pregnancy means birth, dammit, and your feelings and circumstances are immaterial.

2)    Once thou deliverest, thou shalt adore thy baby, forever and ever amen. Giving birth is magical, and no matter what your feelings were before or during your pregnancy, when you get the baby you will have no mixed feelings whatsoever, but be filled with all-consuming love.

3)    Having thy baby will give thee the strength and courage to fix any problems in thy life, and will also potentially bring thee financial gain. Because giving birth makes you exhausted and in need of rest and relaxation in a really powerful, feminist way. Always. No matter what your previous feelings or behavior might have been.

4)    Afterbirth is totally for sissies. Never happens to you if you’re pretty, or Southern, or both. Also, the first sign of impending birth is not contractions, but your water breaking.

5)    If thou requesteth drugs of thy doctor, and thy doctor giveth thee drugs not, thou shalt never bring it up again, and it really maketh no difference at all. A request for drugs is the kind of thing doctors should take lightly from a woman in labor (especially if he's sleeping with her) and they should really just not listen when she talks at all!

6)    Thy abusive husband shall always take it crazy well when thou deliverest his baby and then immediately after requesteth divorce papers. Abusive husbands totally listen to you and believe you, they never try to bully you, they put up only a slight fuss and then they disappear from your life. They will never stalk you, or threaten you, or harm you, or make life difficult in any way (besides moderately financially) despite what their behavior up to this point might indicate.

7)    Thou dost not need a man to be happy in life, so long as thou hast a baby. I mean, you are a woman, right?  See above re: adoring the baby without any mixed feelings, and remember, you’re happier as a single mom than you ever could be alone.

8)    Someone announcing after a five-minute date that he is wildly in love with thee, stalking thee at thy place of work, and refusing to leave when thou clearly asketh him to is great husband material. Especially when you can see the hell your best friends are going through with their abusive and unhappy marriages.

9)    Boinking your married OB/GYN while you’re pregnant and have an abusive husband will never, ever backfire on you. In fact, it is the best plan ever, and will save you from yourself. Or something like that. Anyway, it’s okay to have an affair, just as long as you never ever have an abortion. Or even say the word “abortion.” That’s totally what makes bad people.

10)  Nathan Fillion doth not in fact have chemistry with all members of the tribe of Woman. Thank you, Keri Russell, for being the exception. We can all rest easy again, now that that question has been answered and Nathan is no longer trying to eat her face. (Have a sandwich, dude. You’ll feel better.)