07 October 2010

Introducing: Fish ... For reals this time

Fish is apologetic for being late with the intro post, but supposes it's just college days coming back to her: "what? you mean, I can't post this late and still get an A?"

If there were a mass book burning, and you had the choice to save three books for your own public consumption, and three books to destroy so that no one could read them ever again, which would they be?

For my three to burn, I decided to pick the least important, least memorable books I could think of (for both the authors and the audience). That I generally had no affection for, of course.

Night Shift by Nora Roberts. She has tons of books, I’m sure this one isn’t even her best work by a long shot. I read it for class (no, really) and it was pretty boring. I couldn’t even remember the name of it, I had to google-fu a bit to get it. It had sex in it, which is always a plus, but it was pretty purple prose-y, which is a minus. but, then again, it’s genre fiction, so there ya go.

Of course, looking within the parameters of “large body of work” and “low quality” I HAD to go with the Boxcar Children. I read maybe four of the Boxcar Children books when I was young, and after about the third one you realize that everything is kind of sexist and it’s not actually that interesting.

I took a look at Wikipedia, and there’s 125 books it that series. WHAT? oh god, why? it’s the same fucking mystery over and over. I seriously doubt anything actually interesting happens. I looked over the master list and I picked #120 “The Vampire Mystery” because it’s later in the series, so probably nothing happens that’s important - like that later books need to refer back to. It has a boring name and a stupid scooby-doo plot description. And even if some young kid completely fell in love with this series, they would probably grow out of it before book #120, so really no one would miss it.

And for the third I’m just going to go with oh, I don’t know, how about “Going Rogue” by Sarah Palin. Simply because ‘shut up Sarah Palin’

Books to keep:
From the Mixed-Up files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler by E.L. Koingsberg. And not just because it’s the funnest title to type up. Poignant middle grade novel. One that I’ve re-read a few times and just kind of love.
Summon The Keeper By Tanya Huff - my “trashy” comfort novel. Long and plot heavy enough to sustain multiple readings, also funny as hell.
Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg. Because us writers do need us our writin’ books.

You can have lunch with three fictional characters - one from a book, one from a film or play, and one from a TV series. You can eat with them separately or together. Which will they be? Would you introduce them to one another, or to anyone you know? Why?

TV series character would be Dan from Sports Night. Because he’d be witty and funny (Oh Aaron Sorkin, your writing is so sharp) but I think he also can be really honest and deep and we’d be able to find something to talk about. Also, he’s cute. that’s always a bonus. I think I’d just like to have a casual lunch with just the two of us. Just because I could probably get a good banter with him going, and banter is sometimes best left to two people.

Book character I would have to go with … see, the problem with book character is that a lot of the books I read have teens as protagonists, and while I love reading about that age group, I don’t really feel like hanging out with that age group. So I’m picking Winnie the Pooh. Just because the book ‘the Tao of Pooh’ has me thinking that hanging out with Winnie would be more zen or enlightening than hanging out with an ordinary childish creature (like a child). I’d probably want lunch with a large group with Winnie - one on one might get old or boring after awhile.

And for some reason the Film/Play character ... nothing is coming to mind. Doh!

If you were given the option, what would you most enjoy never having to do again?

I’d love to never have to fill out government paperwork ever again. Ever. Taxes, permanent residency forms, passport applications, student loan paperwork, applications to jobs, schools, countries, etc - i really hate paperwork. I’m always so anxious about whether a typo is going to get the FBI on my tail. I worry about ‘what if I accidentally write false information and then the application is rejected and then the friendly canadian government comes after me and then I DIE?’

It’s a crazy fear, but it’s that combined with the tediousness and overall NONSENSICALNESS of paperwork that just drives me bananas.

If you could have an exclusive interview with any two people (real, not fiction) - male or female - one currently living, and one dead who would they be? Why would you want to talk to them? What would you ask them?

Living: Patrick Stewart - just because that’s the way I fangirl. I would pay to hear him read a stop sign. His past seems interesting, and he’s awesome, and he works within an industry (theatre, story-telling, etc) that I would like talking about.
Dead: Jim Henson - He’s left a legacy in a field I’m interested in (entertainment and education for young people) and I would want to talk to him and see how he saw the world. I would want him to bring kermit too.
I’m not really sure what I would actually ask them - i would mostly just want to listen to whatever they felt like saying. I would ask them to talk about what they were passionate about and why. I would ask them to tell me about their past and how they think it affected their present.

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